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March 29, 2007

Prom 1995: Creature Under the Sea

The “Post Your Prom Photo(s)” idea has been floating around the internet and I’d like to know who started it because I want to thank him or her. This was fun. Everyone else was doing it, so why not jump on the bandwagon, no?

Presenting: Prom 1995

Stacy Prom 1995

Unfortunately, I’m the one with the unblurred face. Sigh.

Just in case you didn’t get the full effect, please let me introduce Exhibit B.

Are your eyes bleeding yet? How about some more retinal burn?:

I was thinking of ways to frame this essay, but screw it. I’ll let these speak for themselves (with my annotations). Rip away, friends. I know they’re bad.

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37 Responses to “Prom 1995: Creature Under the Sea”

  1. I think I am actually the one who started all this. I will take my thanks in the form of coffee or perhaps lip gloss. You’re welcome.

    You do not look big or like a whale, so do not mock that. But please mock away at the tulle neckline of death because I cannot get over that. Awesome.

    -R-, this is so awesome, so thanks for starting it! HILAR! And yes, the Tulle Neckline of Death. I think it caught some flies.

  2. Oh…my. You and the chick in the first picture sort of remind me of the “Sweeney Sisters” on SNL with your kind-of-matching dresses. So sequins were big in ‘95?

    Oh, I shouldn’t make fun. Nobody even asked me to my prom!

    THE SWEENEY SISTERS!!! Chickadee, I love you for that. LOVE. I adored them!! And no one asked me to my prom, either. That girl in the red dress? Her brother agreed to go with me. I had to pay for everything - his ticket, limo share, everything. Peh.

  3. Aw, Stac, this is why we love you. Your total willingness to indulge us in the hilarity that was your high school experience.

    I, like chickadee, was not asked to prom, either.

    But I LOVE the “Sweeney Sisters” reference!

    And as -R- says, you’re not big in those pictures. I just wrote a rant about that last night, actually, how our standards of acceptable thinness are WAY the hell out of whack.

    The plus-size girls on America’s Next Top Model are SIZE 8s! As you would say, “The hell?”

    Aw, Beth. Thank you. And that is why I love you, for loving me and telling me so. ;) I may or may not be big or look big there, but I was heavy - there I was just over 200. The whale thing…maybe I was being hyperbolic, but it so fit in with the marine colors and I couldn’t resist. Our standards are WAY out of whack, but I grew up heavier than, I think, was healthy. I had NO IDEA how to eat and how nutrition worked. It sounds stupid, but there it is. No clue. But if this were someone else in the photo, you and -R- are right - I wouldn’t have thought “fat” either. Thanks for that. I wish I knew I wasn’t that bad back then.

  4. I’m quite certain that I burned all my prom photos… The boy and I didn’t turn out to be such a great match, if you will. Mine was in 1995 too! I do remember that it was burgundy and that I wore a FREAKING MASSIVE satin bow in my hair. Yikes.

    I DO agree with the neckline of abundant tulle. And yet, I’m sure that at the time, you were considered STUNNING.

    And oh how my children will one day laugh at what I’m currently wearing. I guess it’s a battle you can never really win. No one is “timeless.”

    Brillig, how these photos escaped le burn I will never know. And BURGUNDY! That was THE color that year.

  5. i wore an aqua wig to my prom.

    And that? Is why I love you as much as I do, which is a ton.

  6. Yes, the dress made me laugh, but I still would have been too afraid to talk to you in high school.

    Because of my love for tulle and sequins?

  7. Awesome. Simply awesome.


  8. If you’re over 200 pounds in that photo, then you must be like 6′ 5″! I’d be psyched to have that figure!

    No, seriously! I was about 203 or something. It wasn’t much over 200, but it definitely was. That’s a huge compliment, though. I guess things are never really what we think, eh? It’s kind of sad that I spent so much time hating how I looked only to find out 10 years later that it wasn’t really that bad. Bittersweet.

  9. You do not look like a beached whale! You looked good even then. Well, except for the Zack Morris bangs. :)

    I never went to my prom; I was too pathologically shy.

    Aw, Jege. This is why I heart you.

  10. Seriously, I laughed OUT LOUD in my cube several times. The comments . . .ohhhh the comments.

    When I was younger I wanted to wear that exact same dress when I went to prom, just so you know. That dress was rockin’ in 1995.

    I’m pulling out all the horrid dance pictures now. And they will be just as bad, if not worse.

    My prom picture might be the only one I’m not ashamed of though. But the rest of them . . . oooooh just you wait!

    Kate, I absolutely have to know when you post. I can’t wait to see them!!!

  11. Kris…I agree - you must be SO TALL - you don’t look anywhere *near* 200 in that pictuure - I mean, look at your arms - they aren’t sizeably larger than either of the girls you’re photographed with.

    Sadly I don’t have prom pics to post, as I was WAY TO ‘ALTERNATIVE’ aka dating a college guy to go to PROM. Now I really, really wish my girlfriend and I had snuck off together and gone. The pictures would be priceless. SHOOT! I want to post SOMETHING like this.

    Maya, I really, desperately wish I hadn’t gone. It was such a waste. The most fun part about it is laughing at it now. :(

  12. You are the most adorable mermaid I have ever seen.

    *bubble, gurgle* What kind of noise does a mermaid make? Because I’m making that noise right now. Whinny? Gurgle? Baaa-aa-aaaa?

  13. First of all, you don’t look fat…that dress SHOULD make you look fat, but it doesn’t. I have to say though, I kept waiting for an audio clip of Under the Sea.

    I only wish my hair looked as good as yours did…mine kind of did a sad little barrel wave across my forehead and was slightly longer than Crystal Gales’hair. So sad.

    Melina, a barrel wave! AAaaaaaah! I want to see.

  14. you look beautiful! a little shiny but beautiful!!!

    and my prom’s? the 80’s baby!!! boy do i have some truly craptastic dresses for you!

    Post ‘em, post ‘em!!! And thanks! I do sort of reflect, don’t I. They’re like little tiny mirrors of danger all over the place. Peligro!

  15. You win the Shiny Dress award. Like by eleventybazilliontrillion.

    The best part is the tulle neckline. Wowza. And the sequins reflecting on your arm.

    But you are still pretty to me! Even in the midst of adolescence AND in the mid ’90s.

    I think you also win Best Prom Dress Commentary 2007. So that’s TWO awards for you!

    You had me laughing out loud.

    AAAHA! Thanks, Pais!! I heart you.

  16. I just want to say that gorrilabuns has me on the edge of my seat. I think we must all demand a post of those 80s dresses!

    *banging fists on table!* Post, GB!

  17. There have been many adult years where I wished I could go back and hug my teenage self and say… You are beautiful just as you are. Quit obsessing and starving yourself.

    If, by whale, you mean adorable and sporting big bangs, then sure. Otherwise, no. Just no. And I actually DID have the mermaid-look prom dress my senior year. Gah.

    Those ruffles are so Joan Collins/Dynasty. LOVE them in that loud-tacky-fun sort of love!

    GASP! Dynasty?! Joan Collins? I WISH. Thank you!!! Huge compliment. She’s tacky, but dammit, she’s wonderful. So spangly! And yeah, I know. I wish I could go back now, too, and tell myself that none of it matters. Now I just want to make sure TT (http://theoryofthought.blogspot.com/) emerges from high school unstressed and lacking all the bullshit worrying I did. Love that girl.

  18. Oh. My. God. I heart you. And the ruffles of death. I heart the ruffles of death.

    Incidentally, I’ll post mine as soon as I find them. At the moment, they’re in Virginia. But oh, I cannot wait to share them with the world, if for no other reason than that I look EXACTLY THE SAME AS I LOOK NOW. Is that sad? Maybe…

    RUFFLES OF DEATH! THE RUFFLES, THEY HAVE RIDGES! ;) Abs, I cannot wait to see your photos.

  19. Oh sweet crap on a cracker. I must. find. prom. pictures. I think they’re all in Tennessee at my parents’ house but the next time I’m up there… oh holy hell I will be finding those bad boys.

    Although if I’m remembering correctly, mine are going to depress me to no end. High school was the skinny years. The numbers have steadily climbed since then… I blame the beer. And maybe cake. And perhaps college in general… STAY THIN! DROP OUT OF COLLEGE!

    That is my PSA for the day…

    And just so you know… I’m quite certain my prom claws of death included some rhinestones on my nails. And perhaps body glitter. Ah. The mid-90s.

    I want to see!! Also, YES. I know the rhinestones! My friends all got those manicures - the “french” manicures with the V-shaped tip and the rhinestone right in the middle. SWANKY. STYLISH. SOPHISTICATED. And the little nail charms! OHMYGOD do you remember those? And the spinny rings?


  20. I’m sorry, I simply refuse to acknowledge that is actually you in those photos!

    You’re jealous, aren’t you? I know. It’s okay. I’m jealous of my mermaid figure skating gown as well. ;)

  21. wow ~ that dress kind of scares me but you were super cute babe …

    now, i grew up in a small northern canadian town and we didn’t have a prom rather we left the graduation ceremonies and donned the tightest freakin’ jeans we could pull on with a coat hanger and headed out to the big bonfire bush party in the middle of nowhere and stumbled around the party, drinking out of many bottles running into the crying mascara girl, the fire dancing guy and clumsy drunk giggle girl who ended up on crutches for a month afterwards (errr wait, that was me) …

    i do have a freaky graduation photo though and *gulp*, given your bravery, i too will post it … on the weekend cause i’m going to have to pull out my scanner … *gulp*

    though my neckline has nothing on your ruffled dress ~ there were ruffles, oh my yes …. hee hee

    Oh, man, you had the prom I wish I had. That’s what we did afterward. And HOLY SHIT my senior pictures. THOSE fuckers got burned. And if I’m posting prom photos that were this bad, you KNOW those senior pictures were cornea scorchers. It was embarrassing. They were AWFUL.

  22. That dress is mesmerising. You look like a Disney Princess! :D

    Ariel’s friend, the “But She’s Got a Great Personality” mermaid? ;)

  23. Oh, you look cute! The hair is so awesomely early 90’s. And definitely NOT fat.

  24. Those bangs! And those ruffles… But I think you look adorable!! Thanks for the laughs. :)

  25. First of all, you were (and are) beautiful, regardless of the sparkly mermaid dress. That being said, these pictures do fill me with an uncontrollable desire to sing Ariel (The Little Mermaid)’s “Ahhh ahhh ahhhh” song.

    Also? Your blurry-faced friend in the first picture is TOTALLY wearing Jessica Rabbit’s dress. Hott!

  26. Actually, what first struck me about these photos is what a beautiful woman you are. Even with the impediments of youth, a certain poise and sparkle shines through. Or maybe it’s the tulle of death mesmerizing me. I’ll have to find my dark teal with the shoulder bows (1991) and the baby blue to the floor (1992). Maybe some of my homecoming pics, too, they are dreadful.

  27. Zack Morris bangs!? Seriously nothing is going to be funnier than that all day today!! Thanks.

    And, seriously … no whale jokes. YOu looked great in aquamarine sequins!! Love it.

  28. You didn’t have to blur my face out like that. I’m a person too.

  29. Holy Seaquins, Batman!

    Now I’ll have to dig out my prom pics… eek.

  30. Oh my goodness. It’s quite shocking. You look beautiful despite the terrifyingly shiny blue dress with attached upside-down ballerina skirt around your neck. It takes a lot to 1) pull that off, and 2) post that kind of outfit on the Internets. I’m impressed!

  31. OK, I have been following this whole prom-photo-posting thing since my buddy R started it, and I have to say, that dress may be worthy of some sort of prize. The sequins! The neck ruffles! Bravo. :-)

  32. You know, I always get really sad when I see peoples prom pictures because I wasn’t allowed to go to my Prom (dances are from THE DEBIL!). But, I do enjoy looking at the choices people made and wonder what I would have chosen had I been allowed to go.

  33. I love the facial expression in the first one.

    I’m looking forward to picking out a prom dress… without neck ruffles.

  34. Wow. Yeah, I went to prom in 1985, so I can assure you my dress and hair were FAR worse. Pretty sure my date had a mullet, too. Ah, the 80’s.

    I will happily mock your dress — however, you are in no way fat in those photos. You look great.

  35. […] -R- singlehandedly started what is probably the most hilariously fun blogging craze in the history of the internets - Post Your Prom Photo. She was kind enough to participate AND provide a list of the brave souls who participated. It’s a must-see. […]

  36. My sister wore a dress to her prom just like yours…’cept it was all marooney and black.

    My dress was similar in style…but fabric wise was more like my grandmother’s dining room curtains.

  37. […] out a ‘prom’ photograph. I have been meaning to do this since the lovely stacy posted this gem and then the fantabulous angie revealed her pretty in pink side. Now if these two oh so talented […]

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