Boyfriend and I haven’t done much in the way of vacations. We’re not huge beach layabouts, so there has never been an urge to run to the tropics. It’s somewhat difficult to do anything when you don’t trust anyone to watch your dog, who is your fur-son and for whom you would spend the rest of your life in jail for the killing of the person who lets anything happen to him. So, there’s that. Our first vacation was this year to Alaska, thanks to Alaskan friends who married there. And, but for losing the use of my right hand due to neurological issues caused by sleeping on the plane in contorted positions no body can withstand, it was amazing.
We both return to Michigan, but never at the same time. I do not like to leave Jürgen unless I have to. This wasn’t much of an issue when we lived in Michigan as I knew my mom would gladly watch and take good care of him, but we don’t really know anyone close who would care for him (and allow a webcam for me to check in on him from afar – I’m THAT kind of worrier). So, my September trip to Michigan was alone, as will be his trip home for Thanksgiving.
I discovered a place called “Camp Bow Wow” before our Alaska trip and I was happy with their care. Their webcam wasn’t great, but I was relatively comfortable and Jürgen seemed to enjoy himself. Because of that I am somewhat more comfortable taking off on trips now and then. Which is fortunate, because Boyfriend and I are looking to dash off somewhere for a long weekend. We’ve long wanted to visit Vancouver for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is to experience the music scene, but I think we’ve narrowed our focus to Seattle, a place I’ve always wanted to visit. That Kap, Kerri, Sizzle and Mighty Hunter are in the area is a huge bonus and my reason for pushing the trip. I need a visit with friends.
It’s amazing how, with the evolution of the blogosphere, bloggers no longer think anything of it to pack up and head off for a visit with blogger friends. I love that. Meeting Kris, Kim, Maliavale and Nabbalicious (the latter two are missed here in the ‘sphere) the first time had me downing two shots of Crown beforehand to settle my nerves. Because, what if they don’t like Real Me as much as they like Online Me? Online Me is way more fun, more social, a better conversationalist. And that makes sense, for Online Me has the backspace button, some time to think about things before hitting the send button and can, if necessary, do some googling or Wiki searches to check the meaning of something so I don’t sound stupid. Real Me has none of that. None of us do, and I have often found myself wishing I had the powers of Evie from Out of this World. I’d press the tips of my index fingers together firmly to put the world on pause while I picked the seed out of my teeth, googled something, threw a few phrases back and forth to choose the most witty, and then I’d do whatever it was she did to unpause everything. And I’d be wonderful and no one the wiser.
Now no one thinks of these trips as nerve wracking. I love that. I love that I can think of a place for Boyfriend and I to visit and have a few peeps to email or call to tell them to put on their drinking shoes.
I found myself saying last night that, if the Internets were around when I was younger, I may never have developed the crippling self-doubt I have concerning anything related to mathematics. And without that insecurity, I wouldn’t have wasted the time I did because I chose a major that was more about the lack of math classes than about something about which I was truly passionate. So much time has been thrown away because of stupid insecurities that built upon each other in complex, ever thickening layers. And now, thinking about this in the context of blogging, I wonder if I would have felt a lack of self-conscious boundary growing up and into friendships in my early twenties, after college, after it became more difficult to make friends who were everything you needed them to be and not people to whom you felt you had to conform. Without the easy bantering online, I fear I would have retreated more and more into my shell, not recognizing the potential of a good friend in the sea of faces that made me nervous, not excited. Insecurities and fears, layering and callousing the soul, making it harder, uglier.
At any rate, I’m glad for it, this, you. And, if you’re in the Seattle area when we visit in the next month or so and you’ve got a sensible pair of drinking shoes, dust ‘em off and holler at me. I may not feel like I’m as good or fun as Online Stacy, but I can now save the shots for celebrating friendship, not calming the nerves before the actual meetup. After the meetup? Oh, it’s ON.
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